Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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