I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize