Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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