in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize