Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize