the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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