Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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