8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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