I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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