Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
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They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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