I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
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Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
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Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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