I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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