Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize