I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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