shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
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I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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