I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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