can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize