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You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
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