Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
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I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
pray to the hookup gods
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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