im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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