you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
we're making bets on your personal life
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize