mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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