it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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