now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize