Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
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And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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