I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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