you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize