You work out of a Hotel?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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