Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
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Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
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Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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