i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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