It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
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A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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