Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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