Just mADE A PArabola og urine
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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