Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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