So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Your penis caused this!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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