addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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