Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
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Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
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somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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