I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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