is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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