Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize