9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We got so high we made milksteak
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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