Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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