Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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