Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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