Christians are straight up FREAKS
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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