Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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