There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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