Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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