I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
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Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
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Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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