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The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
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